I’ve been thinking a lot about my diabetes this week most probably cause of university. You see we are doing long term conditions at University so this includes conditions like COPD, dementia and my personal favourite diabetes. To add to that I’ve also decided to do a presentation for some uni work on diabetes. However unlike what some people may think I haven’t chosen diabetes because I know more about it than any other condition, nope to the contray I have chosen it because I want to learn more. I may have diabetes but as a diabetic I have never wanted to fully look into what co-morbidities I may get when I’m older or what having a hypo or hyper does to my body each time.
But as you can expect by looking into diabetes and recalling patients I have met whilst on placements it has made me inspect my own diabetes a bit more and after finding my first diabetes record book made me think about whether or not my control has changed since then. You see I was a good little diabetic, ask my mum I’m sure she can back that one up. Yes I had my moments but with a nurse for a mum (who didn’t hold back on the horrors of what could happen if I had bad control) I tried to keep it as tight as possible. So is older megs as good as young megs was? If I’m honest probably not. There is so much more temptations as you get older; alcohol, going out for meals, buying food to get myself through uni lectures…the list goes on. Yet my control isn’t horrific, I know my boundries and failing that I’m not to shabby at carb counting. However I miss the little diabetic that I was who found life a bit more carefree, who was an independant little madam but had her family to run to and then failing that the wonderful Paeds team I had.
Don’t get me wrong I do want to be independant and control my diabetes without people checking up on me. But that’s never going to happen, people care thats why the check and make comments and get my snappy replies. The only difference now is that people don’t have as much “control” over me as they did then! I’m an adult now. Believe me I even go to an adults clinic. Moving up in the world I know 😉
It’s a big, scary change…moving from a paedatric team to an adults team and to be honest due to my pump and certain clinics not having the right funding I had an odd transition. I didn’t leave paeds dead on the age that most do because Southampton Adult Team don’t deal with pump users. So for about half a year I was hanging. No fault of the any of the teams but maybe it didn’t give me the chance to prepare myself for adult clinic, for the indepence of it all and for the fact it doesn’t run like child/young adults clinic does. I don’t sit in a waiting room with toys, a rocking horse (which I remember for when I was a little child even before my diabetes, when my dad took me to play on it when mum was in hospital), nope now I sit with adults who talk in hushed voices rather than screams and shouts and giggles. The worse thing is I DON’T GET TO WATCH DISNEY FILMS WHILST HAVING MY BLOOD TAKEN. I know, it’s horrible, poor megs ;(
On the plus side as I’ve grown older my diabetes has grown with me. Or maybe I’ve grown up with it. I don’t use it as an excuse not to do sports anymore…this is coming from a girl who got out of every cross country afternoon at secondary school and spent most of my P.E afternoons messing about or playing games with the other skivers. Nope now I just don’t need an excuse if I don’t want to do it I won’t so suck on that school! Hahaha! On a serious point though I now take in what people say about diabetes leading to heart problems or bad feet. I also now see myself going into a career which I love and hopefully leading me onto my favourite subject of diabetes because for me it isn’t just a chronic condition, it’s a condition that has made me and built the person I am now!