Sideways Boobs

It’s Sunday blog time and I’m writing this as way of avoiding what mum, Will and James are watching on the TV – Eden Lake – It’s a horrible film, my advice don’t watch it unless you like horrific stuff then be my guest. The only plus side is I get cuddles as I write this 🙂

Anyway I should get to the point; what is today’s blog on I hear you ask?


You see I’m female (duh!) and its Christmas time which means PARTY TIME and as a female I like to wear nice clothes and at times tight-fitting clothes. This can be an issue when having a pump, as its always attached to you and is about the size of one of those old mobile phones. So where to put it?

The easiest place to put it is in the pocket of my jeans or shorts. I don’t usually get comments or looks if it is in there cause that’s quite a normal place to put things of course. But I’m a girl and prefer skirts and dresses and unfortunately they don’t come with pockets. Sometimes I’ve debated sewing pockets into clothes but the annoying thing is that no matter what you do your still left with a bulge. As the picture below proves (although I didn’t sew a pocket into this dress). But you can see the nice little square shape poking through my dress!

image (2)

So how do you solve this problem. Well believe me I’ve tried a lot of things. If you’re lucky enough you can get away with using the clip that it comes with or case and attaching it to waist band of tights or pants and hoping the bulge isn’t to bad. Which sometimes its not! But what to do if that’s not the case?

I’ve heard of people wearing sloggi pants and hiding it in there. Although I’m not sure how that works? If they sew a pocket in or just pop it down there hahaha although I will admit I’ve tried the popping it down the pants route before but to no luck. Maybe I should invest in some sloggis and give it a go. It’s an attractive thing being the owner of a pump 😉

Leg straps. So you see sports people running around with arm straps on to put their iPod in. Well the same thing can go with a pump; you can buy leg straps for them. Or you can do a Meg get a piece of elastic pop it on the leg and use hair-bands and clips to somehow make a little leg strap. I did this once and regretted it after I had sobered up from my night out and realised the elastic was a bit tight around my thigh and I had a lovely indent on the top of my leg.

But my all time favourite place is in my bra. This has caused a fair few comments in the past; a lot of people mistaking it for me putting my phone in my bra. But the best comment was from my mum; Be careful  Megs otherwise you’re boobs might grow sideways and will be hanging under your armpits. You see I put the pump inbetween my boobs if I’m wearing a tight dress. Like where you get the square bit between the cups. It’s the best place in my opinion to put it; you can’t notice a lump in the dress, the only time you can see it is if your looking down my dress/top and the best thing is sometimes it give you an instant boob job.

But if you’re not into trying to fix things up for yourself when it comes to the pump then you can try the accessories part of the website for your pump. For me, mine is a Medtronic pump and they have a fair few bits on there to use, but that cost money and I rather like playing around seeing if I can make something myself. You never know maybe one day I will open up a pump fashion store hahaha. Or maybe I should just stick to the nursing degree and faffing around with my own pump and fixings. – medtronic accessories

To be honest I don’t mind if the bulge is there because my pump is part of me and my body and if people see it so what. All they have to do is ask and I will explain but if they don’t have the guts to do that then they can feel free to stare (which is something you do get a lot). Although I have been asked the most random things and had people say the most random things to me. Two of my favourites are;

  • “So I didn’t want to ask but have you got a poo bag, I can see a lump through your dress?” – I had to laugh at this one. Mostly because they used to word poo bag rather than a stoma.
  • “I think you’ve sat on something” or “You dress has a weird lump on it?” – I did once reply to someone…well if it bothers you that much stop staring at my bottom because I know full well what they are talking about and that is the set site which is like a small circle disk.

Those along with the boobs one have made me laugh. Sometimes its infuriating that I can’t find a nice place to put my pump without it being slightly visible but you just get out with it. Trying to find the best place to put it but most times you succeed and no-one notices a thing unless your undressing in front of them 😉 hahaha!

Anyway seeing as its only 25 hours till Christmas I shall leave you with;


I shall post again next Sunday after the festivities. Also if anyone wants to follow my blog then feel free to type your email address into the place given on the right hand side of this page 🙂

Thanks for reading 🙂



  1. Becki
    December 23, 2012 / 11:37 pm

    How about a huge bun in your hair??? Then the wire would hang down by your ear and people might think your an undercover agent??? I never notice “the pump lump” anymore and you look lovely in everything you wear x

    • December 23, 2012 / 11:42 pm

      But the wire wouldn’t reach up that far! Good idea though hahah 🙂 Awww thanks as do you xxx

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